Dean’s Letter: Caring for Singles

Hello St. Paul’s,

It’s been said that San Diego is the loneliest city in the US. If true, it’s a sad commentary, and one that the church should take to heart. We have an antidote for loneliness in the many opportunities we offer for group activities and collaborations. But we can always do more, and with a large proportion of single-adult households on our rolls, I am certain that there is a need for a ministry that cares for our single adults, particularly as we grow older, but also for young people, and especially for anyone without close family.

However content you may be as a single person, there are times when we all need the support of others. Remember that Jesus sent out the disciples in pairs!

A few months ago I mentioned in one of these letters that I would like to see us develop a ministry to support single people. To my delight, a few parishioners have stepped forward to make this happen. It’s still in the brainstorming stage, but here are some of the things we have discussed:

  • Develop an educational program that would cover writing your will, providing for powers of attorney, identifying a trustworthy executor, and making funeral plans in advance.
  • Provide a secure space at the cathedral where you can keep a set of house keys and contact information for key people such as next of kin, landlord, and attorney, as well as notes about pets that might need care in the event of an emergency.
  • Create a buddy system where single people pair up to communicate regularly with each other, just checking in to say “I’m OK”, so that, if you don’t send the message, there’s somebody who will check to see if something untoward has happened.
  • Give singles, including young people who may be in school or a first job far from home, an opportunity to connect with a cathedral family or form a group for holidays and support.

We are still developing these ideas, and we haven’t yet come up with the right name for the ministry, but we would like to know how many people might be interested in participating, so please look for the “I’m interested” box at the end of this message or in the weekly email and check it, so that we can see how big a ministry this might be. Participation would be strictly voluntary.

I want to make very clear that this isn’t intended to be a dating service!

I’m grateful to Jim Wright, David Buckley, and Sonya Wright for taking the lead on developing this ministry.

A Prayer for Those who Live Alone (BCP p.829)

Almighty God, whose Son had nowhere to lay his head: Grant that those who live alone may not be lonely in their solitude, but that, following in his steps, they may find fulfillment in loving you and their neighbors; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

See you on Sunday!

Your sister in Christ,

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2 thoughts on “Dean’s Letter: Caring for Singles”

  1. Am interested in developing genuine, lovable friendships. One’s of which you can share yourselves with, go out together to coffee shops, take walks to and from parks, seek out various types of entertainment; the likes of concerts, playing cards and board games; the likes of UNO, scrabble and monopoly.

    Do have a stability disability. Use both a walker and cane on occasions.


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