As a twin, you are always asked to share. You share your clothes, your trips, your friends, your food, your Christmas presents, your chores, and birthday parties. In some ways you even share your identity.
My Spiritual Family
By Heather Naddour
I came to St. Paul’s after a long search to find a spiritual community. I’d been looking for about three years and hadn’t found a place where I felt comfortable. I had almost given up on finding a church when my grandmother invited me to St. Paul’s. I’d been struggling in my personal life and I remember walking through the church doors for the first time and I immediately felt peace. It was like I stepped into a holy place, somewhere very sacred. I could feel God’s presence here. As the weeks passed I kept coming back with my grandmother and returning for that peace.
I learned generosity from my twin sister, Sarah. Our mother, a single mom working and going to school full time, will tell you that we raised each other. Generosity is naturally fostered with twins, sometimes even forced upon them. As a twin, you are always asked to share. Not a day will pass where you are not sharing something with your sibling. You share your clothes, your trips, your friends, your food, your Christmas presents, your chores, and birthday parties. In some ways, you even share your identity.
I remember as children on Halloween, still in our costumes, we would dump over our plastic jack-o-lanterns and divide our loot equally, so nobody felt bad about having less. Sarah taught me that if you have something and someone else doesn’t, it is right to give. Not only is it right, but it feels good. Your heart grows from it.
Being raised by a single mom, we didn’t have much. And if you were raised in a family with little money, you have an acute understanding of how money can actually change the climate of a household. Money was like a barometer in my house. If Mom could pay the bills, our house was happy. If Mom was struggling, our house was like a mine field.
Once when we were in the seventh grade, I remember a Christmas day that we were going to celebrate outside of the house. We hadn’t decorated that year, and I knew that we would only be getting one present each. It didn’t bother me. I knew Mom didn’t have a lot of money. I was excited anyway. With only one gift, Mom was bound to get us something that we really wanted. Christmas morning we got up and Sarah and I went to the living room to open our presents. They were small and neatly wrapped in flower wrapping paper. I opened mine to find a long blue flannel night gown. Sarah’s night gown was green. I remember just staring at the soft flannel and feeling such disappointment. Mom was always getting things that we needed, never what we wanted. My mom must have read the disappointment on our faces because she repeated what Sarah and I were both thinking. She said that she just wanted to get us something that she knew we needed. And she was right, the night gowns were perfect for the cold nights in Washington State.
When I reflect on that experience now, I don’t dwell on the disappointment. I think of my mother and what it must have been like for her. How hard it must have been to raise two girls on what they needed and not what they wanted. Following my grandmother’s example, I started giving monthly to the church. I was later asked to a stewardship meeting where we discussed what we wanted to do differently at Saint Paul’s. We also looked at some of the programs that were already being offered. As Scott reviewed the ways many of these things might be accomplished, I slowly realized that the church just didn’t have enough money to grow some of our current programs, let alone start some of the ones that we had just suggested.
It was like a little siren went off. I wonder if other people that were raised in a house that struggled with money may have the same little alarm system. I know what it is like to be part of a family that falls short. As Scott detailed the church’s budget, I realized that St. Paul’s Cathedral is also a family that faces a limited budget and hard decisions. I understood that when the church looks at its programs, it often makes decisions about what our congregation needs, not about what it wants. So I give generously because St. Paul’s is my spiritual family, and if someone in your family needs something, you give it. I give generously to show my commitment and support to the church, its programs, and its leadership. And I give generously because it brings me closer to my faith in my heart, and in my world.
I look forward to the day when we live in greater abundance and even more of our dreams can come true – both for us here at Saint Paul’s and for those who suffer in the world. I really want to be a part of that change. Thank you for giving me a spiritual home, and a chance to help it grow. +